Character 1: Videoandy

| November 1, 2011 | 0 Comments


ANDY: Hellooooooo internet! It’s big bad club king daddy Videoandy bringing you the news of the now.

CUT TO: *The Videoandy andyVideo intro graphic*

SFX: *A clip of the Beatles singing “Oh yeah” from Glass Onion*

ANDY: Check this out, okay. Fact that will make you seem old of the day – it was one hundred years ago today that Sargent Pepper taught the band to play. That’s right, 100th anniversary of the release of that eternal album, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles. That’s right, one hundred years of John, George, Ringo and John. Speaking of, guess what I got today, bitchesss??

*ANDY holds up his phone*

ANDY: Yeah that’s right – tickets to Ringo and the BeatClones!

SFX: *Flashing club lights, neodubstep remix*

ANDY: *Dancing* Awww yeah, boy, awwww yeah. Gonna get my dance on with DJ Ringoooooooo!

*CUT TO – Image search picture of a cow*

SFX: *Moo*

ANDY: Hey you know what else happened today? Yeah that’s right, Stepp Wattaaaaaa baby! Stepp hit’s the big five-oh today – not that you can tell, am I right? – can you believe it’s been fifty years since Ringo looked like this?

CUT TO: *Ringo Starr, circa 2011*

SFX: *Wilhelm scream*

ANDY: *Shudders* Ouch. DJ Ringo ain’t getting any ladies lookin’ like that. Sorry big pimpin! So Stepp’s got the biggest party of the year coming up this Fry-fry – a little birdie told me that The Rolling Stones’ll be there. The Rolling Stones. Man, you gotta say, Mick Jagger’s gotta be glad Jim Stepp found that shit. Guy’s gotta be, what, getting up to the one-five-oh? And he still can’t get no satisfaction?

CUT TO: *Picture of Mick Jagger at a 2034 Youth Regeneris Benefit*

SFX: *Wilhelm scream*

ANDY: Oh shit, my thirty seconds are up, so quick catch up on the rest of the world – someone’s fighting someone for some reason, fuck it. Stay classy, you beautiful bitches.


Videoandy, also known as Video Andy and Andrew Morwitz, is a vlogger in the year 2067. His video channel is the third highest rated streaming video channel in North America, after TMZ24-7 and CBS. Although he’s 65 years old, like many of his generation and social status he appears to be in his early 20s due to the Stepp Waters Co.-distributed water of the Fountain of Youth, which was discovered beneath a house in New Jersey circa 2009.

He is the most annoying, irritating person on the face of the earth – think Ruby Rhod in the era of YouTube.

Tags: ,

Category: 2011, Humor, Scifi

About the Author ()

I'm a very boring person.

Leave a Reply