#5: Seamus
DAVID: Well, what can I say about Seamus? I mean he’s shorter than me, he’s got less hair than I do–
SEAMUS: –I’m sitting next to you, you know that, right Davey?
DAVID: Yeah, I know, but when am I going to have the chance to do this, y’know?
DAVID: Annnnnyway–
SEAMUS: sigh…
DAVID: –he’s sort of like a bald Irish troll. Oh, and he’s shite with women.
SEAMUS: DAVID!
DAVID: No, really – he is. Like right now, just the three of us guys, he’s fine. But the moment a woman walks into this scene, he shuts up and doesn’t look anywhere but at the gods-damned ground. Doesn’t look up again until the girl’s gone, and then he’s back to his old self again. He’s been like that for years!
SEAMUS: I have not.
DAVID: Years.
DAVID: I mean, someone’s damaged the boy here, and done a right proper job of it, too.
SEAMUS: That’s it, I’m done.
DAVID: Seamus, wait, mate! Don’t go! I haven’t even talked about your good points yet!
DAVID: ’cause there’s so many of them…
DAVID: Y’know, I don’t think he’s gonna come back soon.
DAVID: You can probably add that he’s sensitive to that list, too.
DAVID: Just a thought.