#17 Edmund Wojczik

| November 17, 2011 | 0 Comments

Name: Edmund Wojczik

ID: 2187416

Species: Homo sapiens

Age: 42 [given in the Thermoplyaean calendar; by the discontinued Georgian calendar: 35]

Place of Birth: Municipality P612, Terraspace 1 [formerly, Warsaw, Poland]

Position: Pilot of Firebird 117

Years in Service: 18 (Thermoplyaean calendar; 15 in Gregorian years)

Current assignment: RE216945

Heading: Return to Earth-1A


Born to ||||||| and |||||||||| |||||||||||||||| in the year 2126 (Georgian calendar), Edmund Wojczik is among the last of humanity who were unaware of the existence of extraterrestrial life. At age 10, he witnessed the first wave of the invasion of Earth-1A, colloquially known as the Great Reckoning of America, by the species Tenodera sefersis, better known as the Sefers. This was defined as the turning point of his life, as it was for so many others, as invasions of the rest of the Americas and Europe soon followed. Like many, he was orphaned in the Second Burning of Warsaw. He was placed at ||||||||||||||||||||||| in ||||||||||||, Russia (now know as Municipality R386, Terraspace 1). The Sefers were incapable of invading Russia, but this was a small mercy. Living conditions were crowded and supplies were meagre. Upon turning 16, the ‘new’ age of majority at the time, he joined the 14th division of the Zemstvo Armed Forces.

Scores in languages, history, and extinct cultures were dismal. Scores in mathematics, computer theory, biology, and chemistry fell within an acceptable percentile. Despite poor testing results, Wojczik, now known as ‘Toothless’ in an ironic statement about his penchant for improper use of teeth during physical altercations, excelled in strategy and flight simulations, using complex tactics and plans before they were instructed to him (if anything, proper instruction decreased his understanding of a technique). For this reason, he was sent to the Flight Sector upon completing the introductory training.

Wojczik completed secondary flight training in record time and was fitted with a Lebesgue Suit, model number LXS-907823. Since then, he has flown Firebird 117. The Lebesgue Suit allows for full integration of the user’s central nervous system to the ship’s user interface, allowing for more direct interaction with the ship’s computer system. This enables faster command processing speed and less ambiguity with the user’s desires and the outputted results. The user may take himself offline at any time and pilot the ship manually, but the action is not recommended as it takes several minutes to engage external manual mode. Wojczik is noted for engaging the ship’s autopilot mode as little as possible; it is only engaged when he is sleeping. Otherwise, he is piloting the ship at every waking moment.

Assessment: Wojczik should be disengaged upon immediate return to Earth and given at least two years sabbatical to somewhere like Municipality J452, Terraspace 2 (formerly Kingston, Jamaica) or Municipality U918 (formerly Oahu, United States of America). He has been in the suit for too long. May God help him.

Category: 2011, Scifi, WTF

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