Author Archive: TommyFPatterson

rss feed

#8 – Toad the Turtle Rider

| November 8, 2010 | 4 Comments

Toad the Turtle Rider

Artist: Tommy Patterson

Character Creator: Michelle Patterson

Toad is an odd sort, he’s fantastic and imaginative and wonderful to be around, but he happens to be very ugly. He is also a collector of turtles; he has big ones, spotted ones, old ones and funny ones. Toad likes the turtles; he surrounds himself by them, talks to them every day, laughs with them and best of all, he rides on them. He has his own reason for this though, he thinks that since the turtles are so ugly, they will make him look better than he really does; unbeknownst to him the opposite is true, he actually makes the turtles look better than they really do.

Toad is somewhat distinguished in his own way, he wears a suit that is in tatters, but a suit none the less. His face and body on the other hand are a very different story; Toad is just down right ugly in every sense of the word. There will be some sort of steering, such as a halter and reins, to guide the head of the turtle and an embellished saddle for Toad to sit in. His turtle friend is very large and looks pretty normal as a turtle goes and Toad is perched upon it’s back, taking it for a daily ride.

#7 – Betty from Planet Bomb-ardia

| November 7, 2010 | 1 Comment

Betty from Planet Bomb-ardia

Artist: Tommy Patterson

Character Creator: Michelle Patterson

Meet our distant neighbor from the Beta Sector. Her name is Betty and she is but one of the beautiful locals from planet Bomb-ardia. Betty enjoys long flights in her interstellar transport vehicle as well as visiting the Garoom Lagoon and riding the ridiculously large Binipedes that are native to that area. Betty is considered one of the most sought after beings on her planet because of her many natural endowments. If you are interested, she can usually be found at the Central Whak Hub, enjoying a serving of hot chug and reading the latest book.

Betty stands about 7 feet tall with long beautiful locks, similar to snake tails. She has a beautiful heart shaped face with three oval shaped eyes, long lashes; a small nose and mouth with large lips. She is shaped similar to a human female with the exception to the fact that she has three breasts, a long tale that resembles an Octopus tentacle, a voluptuous body and fingers numbering three. She should be very attractive per human standards.

#6 – Lenny the Lackadaisical Lump

| November 6, 2010 | 3 Comments

Lenny the Lackadaisical Lump

Artist: Tommy Patterson

Creature Creator: Michelle Patterson

Lenny the Lump is what you would call “Lackadaisical” for lack of a better term. Lenny comes from a long line of lumps, his Great Grandfather was a Lump of Coal, his Grandfather is a Lump on a Log, his father, the Lump in your Throat and his mother, well she is the ever popular Lumpia (very popular in Indonesia and the Philippines). What this means to him, absolutely nothing at all.

Lenny is comprised of all things naturally sedentary, basically you wouldn’t even know he was there if he didn’t stand up and move position to catch the suns rays every once in a while. He would appear as if he were a culmination of log, stone, mud, leaf and moss, you can’t forget his moss. Moss is his most appealing asset; it’s basically the only thing that is active when it comes to Lenny; Lenny the Lackadaisical Lump.

#5 – Turm-Oil

| November 5, 2010 | 3 Comments


Artist: Tommy Patterson

Character Creator: Michelle Patterson

Turm-Oil is the last of an outdated design; there are no upgrades left for him. He’s been replaced by a newer version, one that is susceptible to the latest cognitive process relaxer sensors on the market. Outdated or not Turm-Oil still has some crank left in his gears and is sure to use it, down to the very last drop. He was programmed to be dejected and full of resentment, fear and guilt; how could he go on being the last of his kind? With every moment that passes and every drop that falls, total devastation ensues.

Turm-Oil is a large, decrepit, robotic organism. His appearance would be that of bolted together sheets of steel. He has a head that is shaped very much like an old cylindrical light bulb; there are no ears as he runs by preprogramming alone. He has small telescopic eyes and a spout for a mouth. His chest and abdomen are comprised of a large, up-side down, bulb shaped glass container that extends from his pelvis girdle to the base of his neck. This bulb is completely see through, so you should be able to see the moving parts that end up positioned behind him through the bulb. The bulb is also filled 2/3 of the way full with an inky, black substance and because of his movement, it should be sloshing around inside. His arms and legs should be very much mechanical, since he was designed and created as a low-tech robotic organism. As stated, he is hell bent on destruction with every drop, so there should be oil slick around and in his wake.

#4 – Knotty Nikki the Knock Out

| November 4, 2010 | 5 Comments

Knotty Nikki the Knock Out

Artist: Tommy Patterson

Character Creator: Michelle Patterson

Nikki has been training for the big time since she was able to find a pair of gloves to fit her; which hasn’t happened yet. She’ll give a new meaning to the word rope-a-dope. Knotty Nikki is not your ordinary girl; she’s not made of flesh and bone like the rest of us. No she’s something a little more raw, tough and fibrous. Nikki is made of rope from head to toe. Mr. Fantastic ain’t got nothin’ on her.

Nikki is wearing on her head a bulky boxing helmet that completely envelopes her whole face, so you shouldn’t be able to see much of anything except the whites of her eyes, tip of her nose and maybe her lips. Protruding from the helmet you see two pig tails extending down to just above her shoulder; the pig tails will consist of long unraveled pieces of rope (some frayed). Her neck, shoulders, chest and torso area consist of rope that is coiled to form the shape of a very thin female. Nikki is wearing a fitted sports bra and a pair of mid-thigh, baggy boxing shorts; you are able to see the rope that makes up her body. Her upper arms are formed of rope that is wound around in a twist and knotted at the shoulder and elbow. On her hands you will find a very large pair of boxing gloves, they appear much to big for Nikki. Her thighs are formed of a smaller rope coil that knots at the knee. On Nikki’s feet you will find a pair of large boxing boots. Nikki being completely flexible in her stance, would be able to take on any dynamic pose for her pre-fight photo, so have at it and she’ll leave her challengers all tied up.

#3 – Dark Persona

| November 3, 2010 | 1 Comment


Dark Persona

Artist: Tommy Patterson

Character Creator: Michelle Patterson

This tortured creature is better left alone, walk gingerly through its surroundings and you will escape unharmed; if not, all bets are off. Beware, for it resides within us all.

It is about 7ft tall and a moderately muscular build. It has a bald head with no ears, just holes where the ears should be. It has a very large set of spike shaped teeth that take up the entire lower half of its head, with a set of lips that are altogether too small to cover them, so they are stretched very tightly along the top and bottom edge of the gum line almost to the point of not being there at all. Its nose is very tiny and its eyes very large almond shaped and look as though they don’t miss anything. The torso of this creature is bare with regards to clothing, however, there are several well place hooks running symmetrically down both sides of it’s abdomen with wire running to it’s back where you will find more of the same hooks; the skin is tearing from the pressure, with every movement, there would be intense pain. It also has no nipples or genitals, it is not human, not born, just is. The fingers that you would find on each hand number 4 and are not fingers at all, they are instead long single jointed spikes of different thickness and length. The lower half is covered in a shiny black material, very tight and begins just below its lower abdominal muscles. All along the thigh and calf muscles there are buckled belts, also very tight in extreme bondage. It’s feet are clad in a pair of large steel boots; a very heavy burden to bare. In one hand of the creature, you will find a glove with spikes on the top of the hand and emerging from the palm area there are several cables of barbed wire that extend to the floor with plenty of slack to coil up a bit.

#2 – The Bathroom Attendant

| November 3, 2010 | 4 Comments

The Bathroom Attendant

Artist: Tommy Patterson

Character Creator: Michelle Patterson

Bob the Bathroom Attendant has always been different and in many ways meant for this profession that, by nature, chose him.

Bob is a happy guy with a cheery disposition. He has black hair that is finely trimmed in a very neat and tidy way. He is wearing a black three piece suit, with a tie as do all the fine Bathroom Attendants. Bob is a bit different however; in place of hands, Bob has clean white towels hanging from the wrists of his suit sleeves with fringe on the edges; protruding from the zipper of his pants you will see a toilet paper holder with a spool of toilet paper on it (a few sheets dangling down). When you look at Bob’s kind face you will see an anomaly of a different sort; Bob has a push button and spout dispenser for soap where his nose should be (dripping of course) and on his tie, which is hanging loose you see the word SOAP written vertically with an arrow pointing up.

#1 – The Cook

| November 1, 2010 | 4 Comments


The Cook

Artist: Tommy Patterson

Character Creator: Michelle Patterson

She is standing next to a stove (corner w/oven window in full view). Rotund woman about 45, pleasant, plump face with what would appear to be dimples and rosy cheeks with her big smile. Her hair is up in nice, neat curls but sticking out in a few spots are frizzled wisps, some straight, some twisty. She has her right hand resting on the corner of the oven holding the door shut; she has in her left hand a large meat cleaver and is using the back of her hand to wipe away beads of sweat from her forehead. The cook is wearing a classic moo moo gown white with a Cherry pattern all over it that extends down to her knees. She is also wearing a black apron that is bunched up just below her somewhat large breasts, yet above her large belly. The apron extends down to mid-thigh and is adorned with the words “Kiss Me, I’m the Cook” in white. She has on a pair of black house shoes with small white bows on them. Her look is that of the kind lady next door that gives out cookies to all the neighborhood kids. Which is in fact what she does, just don’t ask her whats in them.

In the view of the oven window, you can see the half face of a teenage boy in a pan.