Tag: Idiot

#8 – Captain Captain

| November 10, 2012 | 0 Comments

The world’s first superhero to own his own yacht, Captain Captain became a hero after being struck by lightning while attempting to win the America’s Cup in a boat that had not been entered into the competition, He discovered, upon waking up, that he had the strength of an entire crew of yachtsmen, the resilience of a Spanish Galleon (his only weakness is people from Britain) and a natural knowledge of wind and weather on the ocean, and a permanent tan.

Since then, he has sailed the world on his yacht, fighting crime across the globe in harbor cities around the world. Captain Captain must return to sail the seas every few days, or else his power ebbs, and he becomes a completely insufferable ass who can’t stop talking about his boat like it’s a member of his family.

Accompanied by his sidekicks, First Mate Nate and Able Seaman Tiffany (who demands to be referred to as a Seaman, despite her gender), in his career Captain Captain has managed to solve or have no positive effect on seaborne conflicts across the globe. He has prevented the Strait of Hormuz from being closed by pirates, accidentally exacerbated tensions between North and South Korea due to a misunderstanding revolving around fireworks, and once attempted to replicate Magellan’s voyage around the world before getting bored and stopping in Cape Verde to get drunk. He is the hero you call when everyone else’s line is busy.