Tag: Triple Crown

#6: Kenneth

| November 6, 2011 | 0 Comments

SEAMUS:  Okay, you sure you’re not gonna talk about that shite David, said – right?

SEAMUS:  ‘Cause if not, I’m out again.

SEAMUS:  So, Kenneth.  Ken’s a nice guy and all – for one of them Yanqui’s – but…

PSYCHIATRIST:  But?

SEAMUS:  He’s sarcastic, and brooks no shite from anybody.  If he thinks someone’s full of it, he calls them on it, and he calls them loud and in front of everybody.

SEAMUS:  On the outside, he looks like a nice guy – a mate, y’know?  All clean-cut and everything.  But man, is he black on the inside.  It’s like coal.

PSYCHIATRIST:  Is that the sarcasm, or something else?

SEAMUS:  Oh, that’s the ‘something else’ all right.  That’s just – he called it something once, what the hell was it?

SEAMUS:  ‘Disappointment in the whole human race,’ I think.

SEAMUS:  The sarcasm thing can be downright brutal, when it’s focused on you.  When it’s not, it’s really fucking funny.

PSYCHIATRIST:  So, it sounds like it doesn’t have much of a good side, then?

SEAMUS:  Good side?!  (laughs)  Oh, that’s brilliant, there.

PSYCHIATRIST:  Meaning?

SEAMUS:  Mate, what I just told you about him is his good side!

SEAMUS:  Thank god he doesn’t drink anymore:  drinking brings out his dark side.  Everything I just told you about the sarcasm and the blackness and all; that’s nothing compared to when he’s got his drink on.  I’ve seen what he’s like then.

SEAMUS:  I hope I don’t see it again…

#5: Seamus

| November 6, 2011 | 0 Comments

DAVID:  Well, what can I say about Seamus?  I mean he’s shorter than me, he’s got less hair than I do–

SEAMUS:  –I’m sitting next to you, you know that, right Davey?

DAVID:  Yeah, I know, but when am I going to have the chance to do this, y’know?

DAVID:  Annnnnyway–

SEAMUS:  sigh…

DAVID:  –he’s sort of like a bald Irish troll.  Oh, and he’s shite with women.

SEAMUS:  DAVID!

DAVID:  No, really – he is.  Like right now, just the three of us guys, he’s fine.  But the moment a woman walks into this scene, he shuts up and doesn’t look anywhere but at the gods-damned ground.  Doesn’t look up again until the girl’s gone, and then he’s back to his old self again.  He’s been like that for years!

SEAMUS:  I have not.

DAVID:  Years.

DAVID:  I mean, someone’s damaged the boy here, and done a right proper job of it, too.

SEAMUS:  That’s it, I’m done.

DAVID:  Seamus, wait, mate!  Don’t go!  I haven’t even talked about your good points yet!

DAVID:  ’cause there’s so many of them…

DAVID:  Y’know, I don’t think he’s gonna come back soon.

DAVID:  You can probably add that he’s sensitive to that list, too.

DAVID:  Just a thought.