Author Archive: CactuarJoe

I'm a video game critic and artist for RandomNPC.com, a site dedicated to console and PC role-playing games.

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12 – George Washington – Onion Knight

| November 12, 2011 | 0 Comments

One thing that always bugs me about history is the way people talk about it as immuteable. With one tiny change in a person’s life, the whole of history could be altered, but people always talk about historical figures as though the things that happened to them were Destiny with a capital D. George Washington is a great example of this. His father died when he was 11 years old, and he inherited his father’s property. If the elder Washington had lived even one or two years longer, little George would have been sent back to England for education. Imagine how different history would have unfolded with a George Washington who was fully loyal to the English crown — heck, imagine what history would’ve been like if George had been raised by his father rather than his uncle.

Similarly, the Onion Knight is all about potential. Sometimes called a Squire or Freelancer, the Onion Knight is usually the first class you receive, and as such, it’s usually pretty crappy. However, if you put a lot of effort into it, the Onion Knight can eventually come out as one of the most powerful classes in the game. So if we’re being totally honest, everybody starts out as a Lv. 1 Onion Knight, able to use only the most basic of equips. It’s with a lot of effort, experience, and luck that we become useful. ^^b

#11 – Chiune Sugihara – Scholar

| November 11, 2011 | 0 Comments

You may have noticed by now, but I have a special place in my heart for people in history who do what they think is right as opposed to what is expected of them. Well, Chiune Sugihara is pretty much the grand poobah founding member of that class, and I love him to pieces. A relatively minor beaurocrat in the Japanese Empire during World War II, Mr. Sugihara was assigned to be Vice-Counsul for his country in Lithuania. When Jews came to him seeking travel visas in order to get out of Lithuania and escape the Holocaust, Chiune blatantly disregarded orders and started handing out visas to as many people as he could. By the time the Empire pulled him out of Lithuania for his gross disobedience, Mr. Sugihara was spending upwards of 20 hours *per day* writing visas, and witnesses report he was *throwing visas out of the train windows as it pulled away.* Bad. Ass.

In RPGs, the Scholar is a class that revolves around planning, tactics, and learning. It tends to focus rather strongly on rules and regulations, though the Scholar’s actual role in combat tends to swing between defense and support without any real consistency. Given that Mr. Sugihara was basically manipulating the rules to defend the defenseless, it seemed an appropriate fit.

#10 – Edmund Beckett – Time Mage

| November 10, 2011 | 0 Comments

When choosing historical figures for this project, I mostly looked at the major accomplishments of the person and their personality for cues as to what class would fit them best. It’s not always an easy or exact fit, but for Edmund Beckett, it was pretty dang easy. Mr. Beckett was an architect, you see, but his most famous work was actually as part of the team that designed Big Ben, one of the most iconic and symbolic timepieces on the planet. Not only is Big Ben an easily recognizable symbol for Great Britain as a whole (much in the same way the Statue of Liberty is for the USA), but its placement in the heart of Westminster Palace is meant to symbolize the power of the British Empire at its height. Here is time, the clock says, and it belongs to the British. And so Edmund Beckett was a cinch for the class of Time Mage — what else would you call one of the men who captured time itself?

Time Mages, as you may have gathered, are magically-based characters with control over aspects of time. Mostly used as support characters, Time Mages can speed up allied units, slow down enemies, or even stop them entirely. They usually have one or two offensive skills, but for the most part, Time Mages stick to the back. This doesn’t make them weak, of course; in some games, the time-manipulating abilities of these mages can be downright game-breaking.

#9 – Magogo kaDinuzulu – Bard

| November 9, 2011 | 0 Comments

Magogo kaDinuzulu - Bard

One thing I really wanted to do with this series of characters was to show off lesser-known historical figures. I mean, everybody knows King Henry the 8th and Joan of Arc and so on, but who’s ever heard of this lady? Princess Constance Magogo Sibilile Mantithi Ngangezinye kaDinuzulu (deep breath) was born to the last king of the Zulus, Dinuzulu kaCetshwayo, and was one hell of an amazing lady. In a society that treated women very poorly, Magogo not only made her own way in life even after marriage, but actually played a hugely pivotal role in preserving the art and culture of the Zulu in the early 20th century. She was a very skilled musician herself, both in European classical music and with several traditional African instruments (shown here with an ugubhu). Basically, she was seriously badass and there’s not nearly enough information about her around.

Mostly a support class, Bards use their music in combat to inspire allies and discourage foes — basically, they buff allies and debuff enemies, usually with a series of damage or effect-over-time skills, gradually weakening enemies and strengthening allies. For a long time, Bards were severely underappreciated class. Usually relegated to being that one obnoxious party member who never really added that much to combat, these days Bards can be pretty dang impressive. They’ve become the go-to non-healing support class, and sometimes even usurp the White Mage as the party healer.

#8 – Othniel Charles Marsh – Blue Mage

| November 8, 2011 | 0 Comments

Othniel Charles Marsh - Blue Mage

Please see #7 – Edward Drinker Cope for the first of this pair of designs.

There are some historical figures that only work when paired with one another. Just like Butch makes no sense without the Sundance Kid, as Marie Curie needed Pierre, Edward Drinker Cope and Othniel Charles Marsh would have been nonsensical without each other. Of course, unlike Butch or Madame Curie, Cope and Marsh hated each other. Hated hated hated each other. Like tiny little mustachio’d Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.

Cope and Marsh were both prominent archaeologists back in the mid-19th century, when the railroads were just beginning to truly open up the American west. Edward Drinker Cope was an archaeologist of the old school; a gentleman, in fact. He operated on the principles of polite society, and expected others to do the same. Conversely, Othniel Charles Marsh was closer to a businessman of the era. Marsh saw paleontology as a business to be exploited, and they way you did that in the 1800s was by setting up a trust — what we’d call a monopoly today. You got control of a resource and you wrung it until all the money came out.

As strange as it might seem, the two got along at first. They were both learned men of science, and although they came from different backgrounds, their interests were largely the same. Cope had found an excellent source of fossils in New Jersey, and when Marsh asked to see it, well, Cope the gentleman could hardly refuse. Unfortunately, Marsh was so taken by the fossils that he went around Cope’s back and paid the man who shipped the fossils to send them to Marsh’s office instead. Bitter words were exchanged, and the two began a rivalry that would last their entire lives.

This period of archaeology is generally known as the Bone Wars, or the Great Dinosaur Rush. Despite the rather unpleasant personalities involved, it marks one of the greatest eras of prehistoric discovery, with the efforts of Cope and Marsh alone introducing almost 150 new species of ancient animals and providing spectacular evidence for the brand new theory of evolution. Although Cope and Marsh spent their declining years largely sniping at each others bank accounts and fossil collections, the end result of their intense hatred for each other was, strangely enough, positive.

Since Cope and Marsh basically approached the same subject from radically different angles, it made sense to give them classes that did the same. Cope’s class is the Monster Hunter, also known as the Monster Tamer or Trainer, a job that specializes in trapping enemies. The use of this varies by game, but the most common one has the Hunter either training the monster for use in combat on the player’s side, or harvesting them for items. Conversely, Marsh’s class is the Blue Mage. Blue Mages are fairly straightforward magic-casting classes except for one major detail: all of their abilities have to be harvested from monsters in some way. In some games, this is done by collecting certain items, while other games require you to actually be damaged by specific skills in order to learn them. Either way, both classes rely almost entirely on monsters in some way for their effectiveness in combat, and although their methods vary, both can be exceptionally powerful with a large enough collection.

#7 – Edward Drinker Cope – Monster Hunter

| November 8, 2011 | 0 Comments

Edward Drinker Cope - Monster Hunter

Please see #8 – Othniel Charles Marsh for the full description of this character.

 

#6 – Jean-Paul Marat – White Mage

| November 6, 2011 | 0 Comments

More commonly known as the rabble-rousing journalist who whipped the populace into murderous frenzies during the French Revolution, Jean-Paul Marat’s rise to power actually started based on his medical abilities. And indeed, throughout Marat’s life, he constantly believed himself to be working for the betterment of his fellow man, whether they liked it or not. It’s this aspect of Marat’s character that led me to cast him as a White Mage.

The White Mage, or Cleric, is generally the go-to magically-based healing class. White Mages seal up wounds and use boosting spells to improve the efficacy of their allies in combat. Jean-Paul Marat was definitely interested in improving the people around him, but his main method was, essentially, to pick a target and point the populace at them. If anything, Marat is a great example of a sickly, manipulative White Mage.

#5 – Ulysses S. Grant – Knight

| November 5, 2011 | 0 Comments

Ulysses S Grant - Knight

To paraphrase Terry Pratchett, everything about Ulysses S. Grant could be prefixed with “badly”; as in dressed, shaven, and in need of a drink. And yet, I have to confess to a slight history crush on General Grant here. The guy had a helluva time in life; he graduated 21st in a class of 39, resigned from the army after being found drunk on duty, and went on to a slew of failures in business. However, when the Civil War began, Grant completely failed to give up. Instead, he drummed up a company of volunteers and did his duty as he saw it. By the end of the war, Grant was in command of the Union Army and managed to force the South to surrender. General Grant failed more often than he succeeded, but he managed to push through his many shortcomings and personal flaws, and managed to do the things that were most important to him. And I think that’s downright inspirational. ^^b

In RPGs, the Knight is usually the defensive party member, taking damage for other, less sturdy characters. Although occasionally seen as the holy dude in shiny silver armor, General Grant is a Knight of the old school. No paragon of moral order, this Knight is simply a warrior in service of a lord, bound to do his duty. …Though I suppose in this case Grant’s lord would be Lincoln. As if the world needs more slashfic of those two.

#4 – Belle Starr – Rogue

| November 4, 2011 | 2 Comments

Belle Starr - Rogue

A rather famous outlaw from the Midwest, Belle Star was actually referred to as the “female Jesse James.” Which is bizarre, but it gets the point across. She was stylish, a crack shot, and from what I can tell, kind of violent, all of which feeds together to create a character who ends up feeling rather legendary.

In RPGs, there tend to be two outlaw-style classes; Rogues and the more ubiquitous Thieves. Though similar in many respects, these classes have distinctly different focuses. The Thief’s main interest is in items, specifically relieving enemies of as many of them as possible. Conversely, the Rogue uses the same basic techniques, but with a focus on dealing damage. Where the Thief would dart behind an enemy in order to pick their pocket, the Rogue would simply plant a knife in the enemy’s back. Given Belle Starr’s violent criminal record, she seemed a better candidate for Rogue.

#3 – Manfred von Richthofen – Dragoon

| November 3, 2011 | 2 Comments

The Red Baron

Manfred von Richthofen, better known as the Red Baron, is today’s subject. Von Richthofen was a fighter pilot during the first World War, during which he racked up over 80 confirmed kills, a feat which earned him the title “ace-of-aces.” In life, von Richthofen was a skilled, thoughtful tactician, and, if one is being honest, a bit of a pompous twit. Still, his extreme skill earned him the admiration of allies and enemies alike. When he was eventually shot down — and nobody gets as famous as he did without attracting some less desireable attention — even his opponents in the Allied camp mourned his passing.

In the end, it was von Richthofen’s extreme flying skill that led me to cast him as a Dragoon. Dragoons have a rather fractured history in RPGs: these spear-weilding knights have been cast as both allies and hunters of dragons, and even as thralls held in service of dragons against their will. But it was the association these spear-weilding knights carry with dragons and aerial combat that made the Dragoon a good fit for the Red Baron.

#2 – Ada Lovelace – Calculator

| November 2, 2011 | 2 Comments

Ada Lovelace - Calculator

Quite likely the first computer programmer as well as an icon of ladies in science, Ada Lovelace was one of the few people who thought early computers could be more than just counting engines. She was stylish, smart, and had family trouble out the wazoo, so her story has something for everybody. She also died very, very young — only 36 — which is just freaking criminal.

In RPGs, Calculators are characters that use — shock shock — math in some way when they attack. This class is most popular in the Final Fantasy series, where they use magic attacks that hit enemies whose level or position are multiples of specific numbers. At first glance the decision to make Ada a Calculator might seem a bit obvious, but it really made sense to me that Ada would look at magic as just another problem that math could solve. Especially when you consider that her biggest insight was seeing how a mathematical engine could be used to solve non-mathematical problems.

#1 – Andrew Jackson – Paladin

| November 1, 2011 | 2 Comments

Andrew Jackson - Paladin

For this year’s challenge, I decided to go with the theme of modern historical figures as Role-Playing Game classes. I’ve done a few practice pieces over on los Tumbr so that you can see generally what I’m going for.

Our first contestant is Andrew Jackson, seventh President of the United States, pretty much the grand high llama of the inflexible position. He started out as a soldier and worked his way up to commander, gaining the nickname, “Old Hickory.” In the War of 1812, he led a group of militiamen — really, a group of pirates and slaves and anybody else that could be grabbed off the streets — to victory in the Battle of New Orleans. Really what I am trying to say is that Andy Jackson was kind of a badass, and I’d have nothing but respect for the man if he only hadn’t treated native americans like crap.

Aaaand that’s where we get to Old Hickory’s character class. There are some Paladins whose only interest is in serving the greater good. And there are some Paladins who only fight in service of their god. Andrew Jackson would not have been one of those Paladins. Andrew Jackson would have been the kind of Paladin who runs screaming into a group of Goblins, foaming at the mouth. Possibly the phrase, “Inhuman monsters” would be used. Because for all that I love Andy, he really did love holding a grudge.