Tag: celebrity

#24 Famous Ray

| November 25, 2011 | 0 Comments

Famous Ray

Famous Ray

You’ve seen him around, on red carpet premieres, in the VIP section of exclusive clubs wearing an open shirt and shoes with no socks. Occasionally he shows up on television to offer a semi-informed opinion. Who is he? What the hell does he do?

The best way to explain it is, Famous Ray emits a low-level celebrity field, which makes the world treat him as though he is a minor celebrity, no questions asked. Some of the perks of his power include:

-gets free food, clothes, discounts in general
-people listen to his opinion
-VIP/backstage entry to clubs/shows
-people just always assume he’s important, or with the band, or that actor’s assistant, or a producer, heir to some fortune, etc.

When you get him high as hell, or when he’s in his cups, he’ll tell you that his power is because way way back on his mother’s side, he’s part vampire. Dude’s just crazy, right? Witch-One‘s not so sure, and so keeps a close eye on him.


#20 – Angie Gallagher

| November 22, 2011 | 0 Comments

Five years ago, Melina Terrano was the hottest name in celebrity society. She made news nearly every day for her outrageous rich-girl antics. From a DUI on her 16th birthday to a two-week marriage when she was twenty, and two sex tapes, to say nothing of the reality TV shows, self-published magazines and fashion lines, there was nothing Melina Terrano could do that wouldn’t make the news.

Including disappearing completely.

After gaining a flash of insight into her shallow, meaningless life, Melina fled her California estate and headed east. She ended up in the small town of Fairport, TX. She changed her name to Angie Gallagher, put on some weight, and started a new life. For years she worked in the Fairport Library, finally having found something that she could do to help others.

Following a terrible fire in the library (see #10 – Sean Messinger), she is put in charge of a fundraiser. Her promotions attract the attention of a celebrity news website, who are eager to be the first to break the story of what happened to Melina Terrano. Whether she wants it or not.

Read her story here: Spotlight

#11 – Pop Guns’ Raspberry De’Laight

| November 13, 2011 | 0 Comments

POP GUNS TAKE OVER KAFKASTAK!! PRESIDENT SIRRAH WILL HAVE “SEAT OF HONOR” AT TONIGHT’S CONCERT

 GRIEV – Tensions rise behind closed doors at the UN, where rumor has it negotiations between president Istalinov Sirrah and the mediators representing the families of the more than 300 “political prisoners” Sirrah has kept in the nation’s Gulags for almost a decade now have come to an abrupt ending.

It was the dawn of the year 2000 when Sirrah’s “Militant Front for a Unified Kafkastak” movement dethroned the royal family and assumed control of the country. The popular support Sirrah counted with at the time, analysts say, was one of the deciding factors of his victory. However, it’s been a decade of terror for the citizens of the Easter European nation, who went from being oppressed by a despotic monarchy to being oppressed by the military who once were charged with protecting them.

 With civil unrest starting to boil and riots becoming an every day event for the kafkastaki people, the announcement that the overnight world sensation and Billboard chart-breaking Dutch trio “Pop Guns”, who first came into the spotlight with their very controversial cover of Sinatra’s classic “I did it my way” and even more controversial music video which won them their first Grammy, would be having an impromptu concert right in the capital city of Griev has caught everyone in both the entertainment and political world by surprise.

 Spokespersons for the now millionaire group comprised of lead singer/guitarist Raspberry De’Laight, bassist/other lead singer Blueberry Bunn and drummer/backup singer Blackberry Punch have denied the accusations that the concert is a giant marketing plot designed to attract international audiences with what some journalists are already calling “a tasteless display of shock tactics in the face of human tragedy”.

 “The girls have gone completely out of their way and have put themselves and their staff in danger all in the hopes that they can bring a little joy and entertainment to the kafkastakies” said the group’s manager and producer Conrad Teally yesterday morning during a press conference. “The girls have all heard about the situation in Griev and in Kafkastak in general and they very selflessly just wanted to give these good people a small token of good will and solidarity. A few hours of music and levity where they can forget all the ugliness and enjoy themselves”.

 Disingenuous as it may sound to try and sell this as the truth, Teally, who rose to the top of the music industry during the late 70s only to crash and burn alongside Disco during the mid 80s and has miraculously managed to once again catch lighting in the bottle with Pop Guns’ first two albums, is actually not lying. At least, not entirely.

Inside sources have indeed confirm that Pop Guns’ surprise pit stop in Kafkastak has  aussd the group’s “Triple Fantasy” tour to go almost 5 million dollars over budget in order to have the National Football Plaza ready for tonight’s big show. Ironically though, it seems most of that money will be going directly into the pockets of the Kafkastak Tourism and Culture minister, Vladimir Kolcjac, who was in charge of expediting the process of issuing the multiple permits necessary for Pop Guns to set stage and perform within their borders.

And there is also the matter of president Sirrah receiving a personal invitation from the girls themselves to assist to tonight’s event, which seems to go completely against their hopes of providing the citizens with an escape from their very harsh national reality. Many expect tonight’s festivities to end in tragedy, yet Teally remains optimistic.

“The girls want to bring the nation together. That is their number one goal tonight. They want to bring the people and the government together under one roof in the hope that music can show them a way to reconcile their differences and work together once again to build a new, better nation. The girls are still young. They’re still idealistic. They truly believe everything I just told you, and God bless them for it”.

***

Everything had to be perfect.

That is what Raspberry De’Laight kept telling herself while going over the Gulag’s schematics over and over again, memorizing each and every detail, the mission briefing on one hand and a water bottle on the other.

If not, hundreds of people who’d been imprisoned against their will for a decade, their families, and entire nation and perhaps even the World could be at stake.

Raspberry hated this. The emptiness in her stomach and the tightness of her pink satin outfit for their opening act. It cut on her midriff section, barely letting her breath. It squeezed her breasts almost up to her chin and all the frills and veils were starting to put her on edge. And don’t get her started on the silver booty shorts. Just the fact that she had to wear them, as if she didn’t have enough body issues as it was, but it was like they were designed to ride up. She hated them. And her stockings were itchy.

The truth of the matter was that femininity was something that made Raspberry De’Laight intensely uncomfortable, having grown up the only woman amongst her two brothers and her father, a career army sergeant whose job had him jumping from army base to army base. Her mother had bailed on him shortly after her little brother’s birth for reasons she neither knew nor care. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Her father and older brother provided her with all the love and care she never attempted to give. Still, the young sergeant had been very ill prepared to raise a young girl all on his own.

So, he didn’t.

He simply raised another boy and left the complicated discussions on womanhood in the hands of the base nurse.

And so, Raspberry had grown up an army brat in mind, body and spirit. Constantly covered in cuts, bruises and mud, she preferred to wear baggy clothes and have her hair cut short by the base barber. She knew nothing about makeup, or painting her nails. Heck, she’d been wearing the wrong size of bra ever since she’s had boobs. So finding herself now having to wear cutesy, short and revealing clothing, makeup, earrings, long hair and high heels has been more than a mere culture clash for her. More than once the idea of being caught by the enemy sounds more enticing than having to perform yet another concert.

Still, when her “laser vision” first manifested itself, the first thought in Raspberry’s mind was using her gift to serve her country, just like her father. The fact that her other talent, super strength, bloomed in the middle of her UN training pretty much closed the deal on her drafting. And not only was she powerful, she was an apt pupil, knew how to take orders and was respectful of the chain of commands and less prone to bouts of insubordination than all of the other applicants.

They had found their team leader.

#10 – Pop Guns’ Blackberry Punch

| November 13, 2011 | 0 Comments

POP GUNS TAKE OVER KAFKASTAK!! PRESIDENT SIRRAH WILL HAVE “SEAT OF HONOR” AT TONIGHT’S CONCERT

 GRIEV – Tensions rise behind closed doors at the UN, where rumor has it negotiations between president Istalinov Sirrah and the mediators representing the families of the more than 300 “political prisoners” Sirrah has kept in the nation’s Gulags for almost a decade now have come to an abrupt ending.

It was the dawn of the year 2000 when Sirrah’s “Militant Front for a Unified Kafkastak” movement dethroned the royal family and assumed control of the country. The popular support Sirrah counted with at the time, analysts say, was one of the deciding factors of his victory. However, it’s been a decade of terror for the citizens of the Easter European nation, who went from being oppressed by a despotic monarchy to being oppressed by the military who once were charged with protecting them.

 With civil unrest starting to boil and riots becoming an every day event for the kafkastaki people, the announcement that the overnight world sensation and Billboard chart-breaking Dutch trio “Pop Guns”, who first came into the spotlight with their very controversial cover of Sinatra’s classic “I did it my way” and even more controversial music video which won them their first Grammy, would be having an impromptu concert right in the capital city of Griev has caught everyone in both the entertainment and political world by surprise.

 Spokespersons for the now millionaire group comprised of lead singer/guitarist Raspberry De’Laight, bassist/other lead singer Blueberry Bunn and drummer/backup singer Blackberry Punch have denied the accusations that the concert is a giant marketing plot designed to attract international audiences with what some journalists are already calling “a tasteless display of shock tactics in the face of human tragedy”.

 “The girls have gone completely out of their way and have put themselves and their staff in danger all in the hopes that they can bring a little joy and entertainment to the kafkastakies” said the group’s manager and producer Conrad Teally yesterday morning during a press conference. “The girls have all heard about the situation in Griev and in Kafkastak in general and they very selflessly just wanted to give these good people a small token of good will and solidarity. A few hours of music and levity where they can forget all the ugliness and enjoy themselves”.

 Disingenuous as it may sound to try and sell this as the truth, Teally, who rose to the top of the music industry during the late 70s only to crash and burn alongside Disco during the mid 80s and has miraculously managed to once again catch lighting in the bottle with Pop Guns’ first two albums, is actually not lying. At least, not entirely.

 Inside sources have indeed confirm that Pop Guns’ surprise pit stop in Kafkastak has  aussd the group’s “Triple Fantasy” tour to go almost 5 million dollars over budget in order to have the National Football Plaza ready for tonight’s big show. Ironically though, it seems most of that money will be going directly into the pockets of the Kafkastak Tourism and Culture minister, Vladimir Kolcjac, who was in charge of expediting the process of issuing the multiple permits necessary for Pop Guns to set stage and perform within their borders.

And there is also the matter of president Sirrah receiving a personal invitation from the girls themselves to assist to tonight’s event, which seems to go completely against their hopes of providing the citizens with an escape from their very harsh national reality. Many expect tonight’s festivities to end in tragedy, yet Teally remains optimistic.

 “The girls want to bring the nation together. That is their number one goal tonight. They want to bring the people and the government together under one roof in the hope that music can show them a way to reconcile their differences and work together once again to build a new, better nation. The girls are still young. They’re still idealistic. They truly believe everything I just told you, and God bless them for it”.

***

Blackberry Punch had no place she’d rather be in the whole wide world.

It wasn’t just the celebrity aspect though. The fame. The awards. The appreciation. The beautiful designer dresses, the sound of the crowd going wild for you, their applause after your final bow. Those are the kind of things every little girl dreams with her whole life. Some more than others.

Blackberry spent much of a very rough childhood on the streets, neglected by her parents and cared for only by the thugs and dealers of her neighborhood who recruited her into their business. By fourteen, Blackberry had a police file taller than her. She spent the next two years in and out of juvi before her super powers started manifesting themselves.

Her super power, the eggheads had explained to her, was personal mass manipulation. She could make herself light as a feather and completely intangible or gain a ton or two of added weight, becoming more and more impervious the heavier she got. It was a talent she only started to fool around with by herself, but that she fully mastered and developed under the care of the UN handlers and trainers.

Now close to her nineteenth birthday, Blackberry was the older, more seasoned member of the group both in their front as celebrities as well as in their role as secret agents, which curiously enough seemed to be the part of this whole experience she enjoyed the most. Her years of living in the streets had developed in her a love of fear and danger. The more tense and life-threatening the situation, the more alive that made her feel.

Her psych evaluations and half of the handlers tried to stop at all costs that the Security Council drafted Blackberry for the team. They felt this particular personality trait could end up backfiring on both the team and the UN, as her need for extreme trills almost bordered on the pathological. Yet the Chief would hear none of it. He had scouted Blackberry himself. He had drafted her and kept a close eye on her for the entirety of her training. The paper pushers couldn’t understand it. There was no way. What that young woman had was something only field agents, people who’ve done the job and dirtied their hands can recognize in each other: The will to succeed and survive.

Still, the insistence of the psychiatrist had kept her from becoming team leader. Not that Blackberry particularly cared. She had no need to run the show. She actually preferred just being pointed to her target and then unleashed upon it, like a shell being shot off a tank’s barrel.

That was the good live.

#9 – Pop Guns’ Blueberry Bunn

| November 13, 2011 | 0 Comments

POP GUNS TAKE OVER KAFKASTAK!! PRESIDENT SIRRAH WILL HAVE “SEAT OF HONOR” AT TONIGHT’S CONCERT

 GRIEV – Tensions rise behind closed doors at the UN, where rumor has it negotiations between president Istalinov Sirrah and the mediators representing the families of the more than 300 “political prisoners” Sirrah has kept in the nation’s Gulags for almost a decade now have come to an abrupt ending.

It was the dawn of the year 2000 when Sirrah’s “Militant Front for a Unified Kafkastak” movement dethroned the royal family and assumed control of the country. The popular support Sirrah counted with at the time, analysts say, was one of the deciding factors of his victory. However, it’s been a decade of terror for the citizens of the Easter European nation, who went from being oppressed by a despotic monarchy to being oppressed by the military who once were charged with protecting them.

 With civil unrest starting to boil and riots becoming an every day event for the kafkastaki people, the announcement that the overnight world sensation and Billboard chart-breaking Dutch trio “Pop Guns”, who first came into the spotlight with their very controversial cover of Sinatra’s classic “I did it my way” and even more controversial music video which won them their first Grammy, would be having an impromptu concert right in the capital city of Griev has caught everyone in both the entertainment and political world by surprise.

 Spokespersons for the now millionaire group comprised of lead singer/guitarist Raspberry De’Laight, bassist/other lead singer Blueberry Bunn and drummer/backup singer Blackberry Punch have denied the accusations that the concert is a giant marketing plot designed to attract international audiences with what some journalists are already calling “a tasteless display of shock tactics in the face of human tragedy”.

 “The girls have gone completely out of their way and have put themselves and their staff in danger all in the hopes that they can bring a little joy and entertainment to the kafkastakies” said the group’s manager and producer Conrad Teally yesterday morning during a press conference. “The girls have all heard about the situation in Griev and in Kafkastak in general and they very selflessly just wanted to give these good people a small token of good will and solidarity. A few hours of music and levity where they can forget all the ugliness and enjoy themselves”.

 Disingenuous as it may sound to try and sell this as the truth, Teally, who rose to the top of the music industry during the late 70s only to crash and burn alongside Disco during the mid 80s and has miraculously managed to once again catch lighting in the bottle with Pop Guns’ first two albums, is actually not lying. At least, not entirely.

 Inside sources have indeed confirm that Pop Guns’ surprise pit stop in Kafkastak has  aussd the group’s “Triple Fantasy” tour to go almost 5 million dollars over budget in order to have the National Football Plaza ready for tonight’s big show. Ironically though, it seems most of that money will be going directly into the pockets of the Kafkastak Tourism and Culture minister, Vladimir Kolcjac, who was in charge of expediting the process of issuing the multiple permits necessary for Pop Guns to set stage and perform within their borders.

And there is also the matter of president Sirrah receiving a personal invitation from the girls themselves to assist to tonight’s event, which seems to go completely against their hopes of providing the citizens with an escape from their very harsh national reality. Many expect tonight’s festivities to end in tragedy, yet Teally remains optimistic.

 “The girls want to bring the nation together. That is their number one goal tonight. They want to bring the people and the government together under one roof in the hope that music can show them a way to reconcile their differences and work together once again to build a new, better nation. The girls are still young. They’re still idealistic. They truly believe everything I just told you, and God bless them for it”.

***

Blueberry Bunn, or at least that had been the name chosen for her by her handlers, was at that moment fulfilling all of her little rituals and pre-show eccentricities. A superstitious girl since her childhood, Blueberry was busy at the moment going through the band’s catering table.

Contrary to their status as world famous pop stars and would-be divas, Pop Guns’ tour contract only had four small conditions:

  • A fully stocked catering table filled with hamburgers, fresh fruit, water and salad.
  • Fresh flowers.
  • A TV with the remote.
  • Absolute privacy after the concert. They’d gladly meet and greet people before the show, but not after.

It was now an hour before the show and Blueberry had already finished most of the giant burger tray, the fruit and the salad being the first thing gone whenever she sat down to eat. The table, however, was stocked to serve at least six people.

Blueberry had no type of eating disorder. That was not the girl her mother had raised her to be. No, Blueberry was able to eat like that and still keep the young, toned body of a 17 year old girl due to the hyper-accelerated metabolism she was born with. One of the side effects of her super speed.

Pop Guns was a front. An incredibly well crafted front. Like the other two, Blueberry had been recruited after careful study, scrutiny and training to be a part of an elite special ops team under the direct supervision of the United Nations security council. The group was born of the necessity of the UN to take action in situations where it’s hands had been tied down and required from direct but plausibly deniable action.

The band cover had been probably the security council’s greatest idea ever. This gave their operatives the freedom to travel everywhere in the World, bypassing even the tightest security thanks to their fame and the image of banality and air headedness that was associated with celebrity disguised them better than any make-up and fake documents the UN could ever provide the girls with.

This was already the Pop Guns’ tenth mission, yet Blueberry would get the pre-concert, pre-mission jitters each and every time regardless. After the concert was over, she would have to be the first inside the hot zone, using her super speed and stealth to infiltrate the main Gulag just outside the capital city to disable the security for her team mates.

She hoped she could avoid using physical violence, which she despised. A good mission, at least for her, meant not having to throw a single punch. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the exception and not the rule.