#4: David

| November 4, 2011 | 0 Comments

KENNETH: What is there to tell you? He’s tall, he’s almost completely clueless, he doesn’t have a care in the world, and he’s one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.

KENNETH: And that there is the problem.

PSYCHIATRIST: Problem?

KENNETH: Yeah, his fatal flaw. He’s too damn nice, which makes it easier for people to take advantage of him. Too easy, if I’m honest about it.

PSYCHIATRIST: Really?

KENNETH: Oh, yeah; he’s too gullible for his own good. He thinks I don’t notice when he starts a tab for some of the old folks that come in here, and then covers the tab out of his own pocket. But I do.

PSYCHIATRIST: Interesting. Can you give me another example?

KENNETH: How many are you looking for? Because I’ve got a shedload of stories like that. Like teh other night, for instance; this woman shows up and-

KENNETH: Hang on, here he comes. Gonna have to stow that one away for another time.

DAVID: Hello, chaps!

KENNETH: Davey-boy! How are you doing?

DAVID: Brilliant! First I went ’round to the shops and-

KENNETH: David-

DAVID: -and they didn’t have it in plaid, so I asked-

KENNETH: -David-

DAVID: -and can you believe it that they had the nerve to tell me that-

KENNETH: DAVID!

DAVID: Yeah, Kenny?

KENNETH: Focus, buddy.

DAVID: Oh - okay.

KENNETH: Davey, I’d like you to meet Dr. Mattersby. He’d like to speak with you for a little bit.

DAVEY: Oh, hi!

KENNETH: Well, I’m going back behind the bar. Call me if you need anything.

DAVEY: Bye, Kenny!

DAVEY: …

DAVEY: Is he gone?

PSYCHIATRIST: He’s back behind the bar, if that’s what you mean.

DAVID; Brilliant!

DAVID: See he thinks that I’m not all there.

PSYCHIATRIST: You don’t say.

DAVID: Well, between you and me, that’s all a bit of a lark on him.

PSYCHIATRIST: Is it?

DAVID: Course it is!

DAVID: I mean, I’m nice and all, no hiding that, but I’m not a daft as he thinks I am.

DAVID: After all, look around.

DAVID: Go on - look!

PSYCHIATRIST: What am I supposed to be looking at? Besides the crowd at the bar.

DAVID: You, me - sitting here, enjoying pints. While he’s over there, working like a dog.

PSYCHIATRIST: So?

DAVID: So? So, he says - so?

DAVID: Sooooooooooo - it’s supposed to be my shift at the bar right now.

DAVID: How’s that for smart, eh?

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