#4: David
KENNETH: What is there to tell you? He’s tall, he’s almost completely clueless, he doesn’t have a care in the world, and he’s one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.
KENNETH: And that there is the problem.
PSYCHIATRIST: Problem?
KENNETH: Yeah, his fatal flaw. He’s too damn nice, which makes it easier for people to take advantage of him. Too easy, if I’m honest about it.
PSYCHIATRIST: Really?
KENNETH: Oh, yeah; he’s too gullible for his own good. He thinks I don’t notice when he starts a tab for some of the old folks that come in here, and then covers the tab out of his own pocket. But I do.
PSYCHIATRIST: Interesting. Can you give me another example?
KENNETH: How many are you looking for? Because I’ve got a shedload of stories like that. Like teh other night, for instance; this woman shows up and–
KENNETH: Hang on, here he comes. Gonna have to stow that one away for another time.
DAVID: Hello, chaps!
KENNETH: Davey-boy! How are you doing?
DAVID: Brilliant! First I went ’round to the shops and–
KENNETH: David–
DAVID: –and they didn’t have it in plaid, so I asked–
KENNETH: –David–
DAVID: –and can you believe it that they had the nerve to tell me that–
KENNETH: DAVID!
DAVID: Yeah, Kenny?
KENNETH: Focus, buddy.
DAVID: Oh – okay.
KENNETH: Davey, I’d like you to meet Dr. Mattersby. He’d like to speak with you for a little bit.
DAVEY: Oh, hi!
KENNETH: Well, I’m going back behind the bar. Call me if you need anything.
DAVEY: Bye, Kenny!
DAVEY: …
DAVEY: Is he gone?
PSYCHIATRIST: He’s back behind the bar, if that’s what you mean.
DAVID; Brilliant!
DAVID: See he thinks that I’m not all there.
PSYCHIATRIST: You don’t say.
DAVID: Well, between you and me, that’s all a bit of a lark on him.
PSYCHIATRIST: Is it?
DAVID: Course it is!
DAVID: I mean, I’m nice and all, no hiding that, but I’m not a daft as he thinks I am.
DAVID: After all, look around.
DAVID: Go on – look!
PSYCHIATRIST: What am I supposed to be looking at? Besides the crowd at the bar.
DAVID: You, me – sitting here, enjoying pints. While he’s over there, working like a dog.
PSYCHIATRIST: So?
DAVID: So? So, he says – so?
DAVID: Sooooooooooo – it’s supposed to be my shift at the bar right now.
DAVID: How’s that for smart, eh?
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